Summer is a difficult time to grieve. It seems so incongruous to be teary amidst the sunshine, outdoor concerts, and fireworks. Everyone else seems to be having such a good time. It’s hard to find a place to fit in. And the memories of great summers gone by rush back – even passing by our favorite ice cream shop conjures up memories. Sure, I could get in line for a cone, but it’s just not as much fun by myself.
How do we use this summer season to our best advantage? It’s important, because here in New England, it’s a short season. We don’t want to miss the best of it. I’ve had 7 summers now since the loss of my husband. I have found that being sad and living in the past become tiresome. So I have given myself permission to be happy, and have found a few activities that are uplifting:
Setting up a bird feeder. Even when I don’t feel like doing much, those little visitors are always welcome.
Patio pots for tomatoes and herbs. There’s nothing like home grown foods to stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. I admire those of you with full gardens, who freeze and can those veggies for the winter. Gardening is so good for body and spirit!
- Summer exercise is fabulous – early morning walks seem to spark creative thinking, and get me going for the day.
- Old fashioned rock and roll music, including the Beach Boys. It makes me feel young again!
- If you still want to look back, do something positive to honor the memory of your loved one, like planting a tree.
- Hang out with people who have a positive attitude about life. It’s contagious!
- It’s okay to start a new romance…it’s an old summer tradition!
I hope you get some other ideas from this issue. Start with the strawberry recipes, because they’ll make you happy. Listen to Becky McCoy’s podcasts, and admire Katharine Graham’s courage. Tell your story to someone, and write your mission statement for the future. Get your chakras balanced and read some poetry. Most of all, get outdoors and be with positive people.
I wish you peace and joyful anticipation of what life holds next for you.
All the best,
Dr. Joanne Z. Moore,