Welcome to Pathfinder Magazine and WidowedPathfinder.com
A Companion Guide for the Widow/er's Journey
There comes a time in the grieving process, the “intermission”, when we perceive a light flickering in the darkness. We start to perceive a spring in our step again, and our energy level starts to return to normal. When you see that light flicker, you know it’s time to go back in for Act II. The problem is, we never planned for an Act II. In other aspects of our lives, such as parenting or career choice, we had years of joyful planning and the mentorship of so many. But there has been no joyful anticipation for this stage of life. We’ve done little to prepare ourselves for this major life change. In many ways, the loneliness of this stage compounds the problems. But you are not alone. There are 5 million Americans widowed every year. This magazine will be a way to connect with each other and to learn together how to live well despite disappointment.
This magazine is about Act II. Act II honors and remembers the marriage, and many themes will continue. Each issue will spotlight a widow or widower who has in some way honored the memory of his or her late spouse. But Act II will also help readers explore the question of, “What next?” Each issue will highlight a person who has gone on to live a meaningful and joyful life after being widowed. Other regular features will address finances, family matters, nutrition. There will be articles on safety, housing, how to work with an appraiser/auctioneer, practical concerns, book reviews, travel, return to work, friendship, emotional well being, health, and spirituality. There will be articles on decisions concerning return to dating.
We invite your feedback, and your suggestions for topics. Please introduce me to someone you think is living well, so that he or she may be the subject of an article. We look forward to journeying with you.
Pathfinder Staff and Bios
Dr. Joanne Z Moore is a physical therapist who was widowed in 2009 at the age of 57. Her professional experience has taught her to value life at every stage, despite tragedy. She has observed people learning to adapt to a new paradigm of life after serious injury and degenerative diseases. She has learned that the people who are happiest are the people who can find the good in new situations. She drew upon this experience to develop a philosophy of life to guide this stage. She tries to live intentionally. She honors his memory by managing 260 acres of forestland that he intended to help with his grandchildren’s mortgages.
She also is developing her own interests. During the “family stage”, she sewed many costumes for her children’s drama productions, but never was on stage herself. Now, she is a member of Laughworks, an improvisational group, where she finds laughter to be healing. She is also a member of Toastmasters International and has achieved the Distinguished Toastmaster level. She enjoys public speaking on end of life and survivor issues, and she has facilitated workshops on these topics.
She is the publisher of a magazine, Pathfinder: A Companion Guide for the Widow(er)’s Journey (anticipated on-line publication, summer 2014, with a print edition in early 2015). This magazine has provided opportunity to interview many widow(er)s who have learned to live well after loss. Each person brings a unique philosophy to this chapter of life. She has been inspired by the creativity of artists, politicians, teachers, and by historical figures. She is excited about sharing their stories so that others might find the courage to explore their possibilities.
Jane Milardo, LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing for 24 years in a variety of treatment settings including inpatient and outpatient psychiatric, day treatment, residential treatment, and substance abuse rehabilitation. Most of her work is dual diagnosis, that is, she treats both psychiatric and substance problems in the same individual. She is currently the owner of Synergy Counseling Center, LLC, in Niantic, CT, where she sees adult individuals and couples. Her specialties include addictions, attention deficit disorder, womens empowerment, depression and anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, trauma issues, phase of life problems (such as midlife issues, widowhood and divorce). She has identified and treated many adults with previously undiagnosed attention deficit disorder. Many of her clients don’t have mental health problems, but struggle with life issues including marital problems, adjustment to divorce, remarriage and step-families, single parenting, grief and loss, and poor communication skills in a relationship.
She especially enjoys working with those who are ready to recover from abuse of substances, and is highly motivated to help them if they are willing. She also loves to help couples learn to communicate in a healthy way, and family members learn to understand one another. She loves helping women who are insecure in who they are learn to stand up for themselves and get what they want out of life, and to assist anyone in personal growth.
Jane is also an artist and an author, having published her first book, The Path to Real and Lasting Inner Peace in 2012. Her book is intended for those who are tired of carrying emotional burdens and want to let go and find real inner peace, and it received a five-star review from ForeWord Clarion Reviews. It is available in paperback from the publisher at https://www.createspace.com/title/3801758, and also on Amazon and on Kindle.
Jane grew up in Durham, CT, and was received her B.A. at Hobart and William Smith Colleges in Geneva, NY, and her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy at Southern CT State University in New Haven, CT. She was a single parent for over 20 years. She resides in Niantic, CT, and she and her husband (as a step-family) have four children, two wonderful sons-in-law, and five grandsons altogether. Jane is a person of faith, and is open to all belief systems. She likes to garden, draw, paint, meditate, walk on the Niantic boardwalk, and work out. Questions in regard to life and family issues may be submitted to Jane at Pathfinder Magazine, and she will make every attempt to respond to as many as possible in her column, Ask Jane.
Lisa Saunders is an award-winning writer and TV host living in Mystic, Connecticut, with her husband. A graduate of Cornell University, she is author of several books and winner of the National Council for Marketing & Public Relations Gold Medallion. She works as a part-time history interpreter at Mystic Seaport, is an instructor at New London Adult and Continuing Education, and writes for several clients. As the parent representative of the Congenital CMV Foundation and member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, she has spoken on a variety of topics at venues including Cornell University, West Point Museum, The Washington Independent Writers Association, and USA 9 News. Visit Lisa at www.authorlisasaunders.com.
Patricia Ann Chaffee is a poet, photographer, freelance writer and former journalist. She facilitates Creating a Writing Life programs for emerging writers and designs workshops and retreats to nourish the soul, awaken the muse and celebrate the creative life. To learn more, visit www.PatriciaAnnChaffee.com.
Rosemary Collins is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist with the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics since 2009. She works freelance and offers nutritional counseling to clients looking to improve both their health and fitness with easy and practical dietary changes. Before moving to the USA she worked in the UK, so you may notice that some of her recipes have a British influence!
Amy J. Barry is a professional writer, reviewer, and award-winning columnist. She is also the author of the children’s book A Child's Grief Journey, a Hospice-trained bereavement counselor, and a certified expressive arts educator. Amy lives on the Connecticut shoreline with her husband and assorted pets, and has two young adult sons. You can visit Amy at www.aimwrite-ct.net.